2004-08-12 - 1:27 a.m.

Hello. Crime. Thoughts.

Have just filled in the Hillingdon Crime and Disorder survey. Am happy to report that I haven’t been a victim of crime in the last 12 months, and so not an awful lot to say on the subject.

How old am I? Fewer things are more scary in life than when you go up a box in this section of a survey. Now I have to cheerily tick the 25-39 box. I am old.

Are you male or female? Quick check. Oh. I have one of those. Must be male then.

What is your ethnic group? Is ‘white’ really an ethnic group. I have a South African friend who always has to tick ‘white/other’ for this.

Are you concerned about crime in Hillingdon? OK. This is the bit that it suddenly became awkward to answer. I have to tick ‘Not concerned’ or ‘Concerned’ for various topics: Anti-social behaviour, Burglary, Street Robbery, Assault and so on. Is there anyone who would tick ‘not concerned’ for any of these? Even if it doesn’t happen to me (racist crime would be a prime example), of course I’m concerned about it. Wouldn’t anyone be?

If you are concerned about anti-social behaviour in your area, what in particular worries you? Graffiti is option one. Can I bring myself to worry about people writing, as is on a building just outside my house, ‘Kinky girl ready to fuck all fit boys’? No. I don’t think I can bring myself to be concerned. For all I care, Kinky girl can do whatever she likes so long as it is her decision. But I find myself ticking ‘gangs of youths’. I was never one for walking the streets at night, making loud noises.

How safe or unsafe do you feel at the following times? The only one I could tick ‘unsafe’ for was ‘Outside in Hillingdon during the night’. Why do I feel that? Walking home from the cinema in Uxbridge at 11.15 on a Saturday night. Don’t do it alone. How terrible it should be that I feel that.

Compared with last year, do you feel there are more or less police officers on the streets of Hillingdon? I had to tick ‘about the same’. I saw none last year, I have seen none this year.

Then there are the other questions, about if the respondent has been a victim of crime in the last 12 months. I can’t fill these in, because I haven’t been. How many people have? How scarey is this?

Question 16 – if you have been a victim of crime in the lsat 12 months, have you experienced any of the following as a result? Injury, Increased use of alcohol, drugs and/or smoking, On-set or relapse of an eating disorder, Depression, Isolation, Insomnia? Is this happening? Why is this happening?

It’s not vital or earth-shattering for me. I’m a man, 30 years of age. I walk the streets with little fear, in the end. I have palpitations whenever any of the women I know decide to walk home. It’s one of these ‘it never happens to me’ things. Until it does. Why are they sending out surveys like this, unless it does?

I think that what it comes down to is that I don’t understand crime. There are laws in this country which I have been known to breach, the most obvious being the laws on speed limits, but there are lines. I don’t understand the mindset that says, ‘Ooh, look, there’s a little old lady. Let’s knock her down and steal the £3.76 that she has in her purse, because that’ll be enough to put a down-payment on 20 Marlboro Lights.’ I don’t understand how anyone can have a mindset that cares so little about what that might do to someone else.

I know. Middle-class kid with no urgent need for a fix. And I don’t, quite clearly, understand.

But they’re sending out surveys. There are people out there who are going bulimic, insomniac, alcoholic because of what happens out there when there are no policemen.

I understand that there has always been crime. The murders in the books and on the television are about love, or ambition, or greed. The crime that happens out there on the streets is to do with boredom, or disillusionment, drugs and/or just a total lack of care for anyone or anything other than yourself. There are people trapped in their houses because of what has happened to them in the past.

Tick the box. Does this apply to you? Have you been a victim? Have you seen a policeman in the last twelve months? Are you concerned about crime? Can you walk from your car to your house without being scared? Have you committed a crime over the last twelve months? Do you consider beating up old people to be bad? Where, in the end, do you think we are going to end up?